So this year I made some resolutions.
And this year, I intend on meeting all of my goals.
One year I made a resolution to lose weight, and I did it.... big time. Lost 80 lbs in 7 months.
If I could have at one time in my life met the biggest resolution for myself and many Americans, then I know I can meet the ones I created this year... and yes.... losing 80 lbs is on there again.
Resolution #1: Take charge of my health - DONE!!
Hubby and I went to the doctor yesterday. He gave in and took the day off with me so we could both go at the same time and support each other, and make sure neither one of us were leaving anything out.
My session with the doc was GREAT! Everything I wanted, actually. I went in that office determined to have every question answered, and need met. And I got that. INCREDIBLE!
The only time I have ever had a doctor meet my every need was when they yanked Bailee from my uterus.
And, as a result of yesterdays wonderful visit, I am scheduled for a sleep study this Sunday.
This all stems from my moo-ing problem.
Apparently.... when I sleep..... I moo. Yes..... like a cow. And no.... it's not cuz I am fat (well, I hope not at least... lol)
Moo, moan, groan - I do it all. Apparently it also sounds like I am having a very x-rated dream.... and that is VERY embarrassing especially since it happens almost every time I exhale..... greaaaat.
And on top of the animal noises, I just don't feel like I have the best quality of sleep and it is literally impossible to wake me up at anytime before 9:30 am. Impossible. So I am really excited to do the sleep study - very nervous for the noises that will go with it and not to thrilled with the fact that it could be apnea and I could have to wear that weird mask thing that makes you breathe through your nose, because I am soooo not all about that. But, if it gets me to sleep and gets me to wake up.... I'll wear it. It also might be a great sex deterrent for my husband, which would be AWESOME!!!! Who wants to have sex with a big old plastic oxygen mask that moo's?
Finally, I got my script for Prozac and a referral to a great doctor in Frederick to manage my PCOS. Now, while I was hoping for an anti-depressant/anxiety med, I am kind of torn about it.
I am really trying to focus on my religion and relationship with God, and feel that my "depression" and anxiety should be and could be cured through Him. However, I can not stop the thoughts that go through my head. I can talk myself down from them - like rationalize with myself that no, I won't get eaten by a bear, no, Bailee won't fall out of her window, no, I probably won't die in my sleep tonight - but even though I can pray about them and get over them - THEY WON'T GO AWAY.
So, is it wrong that I get on meds???
Is that lunatic Tom Cruise onto something in that we don't need these meds docs are so easy to dish out - that we can control it... that GOD can control it? Am I sinning by doing this? I know I NEEDED these pills with my Post Partum Depression, but do I NEED them now? Do I NEED them for the rest of my life since I have a tendency to fluctuate?
And here we go - another anxiety attack because now I am afraid I am sinning and going to hell all because I want to chemically balance myself and STOP thinking like this.
And this is exactly what keeps me up at night.
And probably why subconsciously I want to be a fat old cow living my days out in a green pasture in Wisconsin and that being the reason I moo at night.
So all in all, I am pleased to say that I have checked one item off my resolution list. I am going to see my PCOS doc and get tons of blood work done to figure out all of my levels and figure out why I gained so much weight and what I need to do to level myself out which will in turn lead me to meeting my other resolution of losing weight and it'll be a wonderful domino effect from there.... I know it.
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9 comments:
No, I don't believe it's a sin for you to be on meds. You can tell God I told you so.
It is NOT a sin to be on meds chica!!!!!!!!!!! OMG NO! I take four pills a day. LOL!
Seriously- balancing yourself is not a sin. We will talk more about this tomorrow!!! I am PSYCHED that you are taking steps toward improved mental and physical health! You rock! And I love ya!
Do you think God would consider it a sin to a cancer patient to seek chemo, or a person with a heart condition to take pills for their heart, or a person with high cholesterol to take pills to regulate unhealthy chemicals in their blood? I certainly know not!
Our bodies have all kinds of defects - that's the result of living in a fallen world. There's nothing wrong or sinful about taking care of your health. Paul wrote about this and said:
"Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body," (1 Corinthians, Ch. 6 vs: 19-20).
If taking a med to help with anxiety, tension, etc is what you need, then take it! With the consultation of a doctor, monitoring, it can only improve your life, your marriage, and Bailey's future.
PS:
Glad to hear you were at church last Sunday AND brought a friend! That's awesome!
Lizzie please excuse my husband's use of the word "defect." We're not defected- just imperfect. :)
Anyway-
I agree with the rest of what Kenny said. We have medication for lots of different reasons- there is nothing in the Bible that says taking medication for one reason is NOT a sin while taking medication for another reason IS a sin. You take whatever you need, with a doctor's monitoring, and put one foot in front of the other! No doubt God wants you to be healthy, happy, and fulfilled in all areas of your life. If taking a pill to help balance things brings you to a place mentally where you are better able to connect with God, be a better wife and mother- then go for it!
I think you are smart to pursue all of your options medically and emotionally. Good for you!
Now if you'll please excuse me, I have an appointment with myself to cry for at least an hour because it's bleak outside, I'm uncomfortable, and I feel a hormone surge coming on. Thank you.
lol.... thank you.
it was more is it a sin for the depression..... isn't that one of the 7 deadly sins?????
Nope depression is not a deadly sin. The "7 deadly sins" are: pride, envy, gluttony, lust, wrath, greed, and sloth. And to be honest, I've engaged in all seven at some point today. But I'm not going to hell because I am a follower of Jesus Christ who died for my sins. Lizzie- Jesus covered you and paid the price for your admittance into heaven the moment you accepted Him into your life! You will always be a sinner until the day you die. What matters is that each day you wake up and put your faith and heart in God/Jesus. You will sin each day- you can't avoid it. But Jesus will never leave you and he will never turn His back on you. Pop your damn happy pills and stop letting the devil convince you that depression or medication are sins! LOL! You are a Christian follower of Jesus and He loves you JUST THE WAY YOU ARE today!!!!!!!
BTW the 7 deadly sins are crap.
lol thank you, i love ya melissa
OK - The mother in me is being brought out right now. I'm telling you that God would want you to do whatever it takes to do the following:
Believe and trust in him.
Take care of you heart, mind, body and soul.
Lead Bailee to him.
Not feel guilty about any of it.
It's your job as a mother and a daughter of God to do whatever it takes to improve your life and as a result - improve Bailee's life. Medications are not a sin. Don't wait another minute. You owe it to yourself and those who love you. I'm one of those people!
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